Strength in Transformation [video]

This is the latest video I have posted to my YouTube channel, called “Strength in Transformation.” During this whole tumultious and overwhelming transition process, more than just my gender has transformed. I am becoming more whole as a person; transitioning was just a part of the journey. In a way, it was the key that opened the door to the world so I could actually start my journey in life.

I think this is one of the videos on my channel I am most proud of; the footage was acquired over several years’ time in various parts of the country and took me several all-nighters to complete.

Perhaps my obsessive documenting and video editing/producing has paid off; I am starting to get some freelance work doing video editing stuff, which is what I've always wanted to do. I'm really stoked to be working on this new project and getting back into doing some mixed media projects for things not related to my YouTube channel and personal life. Like J. said, it's good to branch out; use this unique experience as a filter in which to see the world, but still ALL of the world and not just the (trans)gender side.

I used to struggle with finding balance between my trans self and just my plain old male/person/self, but this hardly comes up anymore in my day to day life. I still struggle with balance, but I find it is more "life-related," rather than gender-related. I worry about the stuff every one else does - my relationships, finances, work; it's quite a relief to not have to think so actively about my gender.

I'm so glad my active transition is over; I was very fortunate to get it done quickly and when I was relatively young. I am 26 and have been on testosterone for nearly six years now; it doesn't feel like that. In fact, it doesn't feel like anything. It feels like this is how I always have been. I can hardly distinguish my trans self from just myself now, and I think that is what I have been striving for since I started transitioning.