Here.

I am here and I am not not necessarily happy with it. I'm not unnecessarily unhappy with it either, but this is where I am. If you had told me ten years ago I would be living in Los Angeles with my girlfriend after living in San Francisco for two years reinventing myself I would not believe you. I would not also believe I would be male at this point. I'm sure that sounds odd to read, but my gender transition has been my wildest ride yet.

The cross country road trip with my girlfriend was pretty good, too.

I guess I just feel like my life is not where I would like it to be and that I have this (maybe crazy) ideas that if I write about it that I will be more inclined to work on the areas that need work.

I can't totally say I'm not satisfied with my life; there are lots of aspects of it that are going well. I am in a relationship with an amazing woman. My transition is mostly over and I don't have to deal with it on a daily basis anymore. I have amazing family and friends. I live in California - enough said!

I have been doing a lot of things right - one of my New Year's resolutions was to take things slow - as in, be aware, mindful; concentrate on things, focus. One thing at a time, whether it be in preparing a meal, editing a film, or just in communicating with people. I want to be present and mindful in all situations.

I have been cooking a lot and learning a lot in the process, and some of the things I make are good - delicious even sometimes! Fresh smoothies have become a favorite, and my lamb meatballs over couscous was a hit with my girlfriend.

I really should start meditating.

I went to the gym this morning - literally, the first time in years. I would like to make lifting weights and some cardio a regular thing. I am about the worst person on earth when it comes to actually keeping an exercise routine, but it doesn't hurt to try.

If anything, I can always just skate a ton more. I have been getting back on my board more lately and it feels great. I don't know why I don't skate when I am anxious or depressed; I feel the most zen when I am on my board surfing the sidewalk.

I want to get good [ok, decent] again. Am I making sense? I don't know - it's 5:00am and I have to pick up my girlfriend at work at 8:00am.

I can't believe we are moving back to SF in 12 days! Yikes - we have got a lot of packing to do!